Weight Loss Journal – Will to Live

The theory behind this weight loss journal has to do with the power of questions. Asking the right questions draws out the right answers. It’s as simple as that.

Coming up with the right questions is the hard part but I’ve done that for you while leaving plenty of room for you to add your own. This journaling will make you dig deep! And that is precisely what’s required because the desire to overeat and avoid exercise runs deep. If you have not been able to stay motivated and make good decisions, then the cause of the issue is deeper than you’ve been able to influence. Let’s get there and make real changes.

Weight loss journal assumptions. These are principles built into the template and reflected in the questions.

  • Today is the only day that matters in your weight loss efforts. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow.
  • Part of you wants to overeat and self-sabotage – otherwise you wouldn’t do it.
  • Confronting yourself is healthy.
  • Everyone can make a conscious choice, provided the issue is conscious. We cannot make conscious choices about that which remains unconscious.
  • Losing weight requires personal sacrifice.

1. Why is today different than any other day?

Technically, it isn’t. If I want different results, I need to act differently. Maybe starting this journaling process will make the difference. I don’t know. Actually, today is different than any other day because today exists! All other days are in my memory or imagination.

But that still doesn’t address my fear, which is that I won’t really care by the end of the day. I’ll give up, give in, and overeat. So, what would really make this day different has to do with caring about myself, my health, my wife, my energy level, my self-respect. Today can be the day I do this!

Caring about myself is what makes this day different.

How do I want to feel at the end of today?

Proud of myself. Like a responsible person. Hard. Disciplined. Self-respecting.

The issue here is that I need to allow myself to feel that way.

What am I most afraid of?

As I contemplate two futures, it is shocking that I am less afraid of the one that involves gruesome death. Death from a lifestyle disease related to obesity is LESS scary than succeeding at weight loss and ending up a hard-body with energy and confidence. Why is this the case?

Because succeeding would mean caring and I am terrified to care about anything. What am I really afraid of? Giving up my position of not caring about myself. It’s a massive defense mechanism, I suppose.

I am afraid to be healthy and happy and well-adjusted. I insist that I don’t care. It’s like there is a little troll inside of me that takes over and makes sure I fuck things up. I need to control the troll!

What am I going to do when temptation strikes?

In these moments, my entire perspective changes, and I really don’t care about my health. I just want food. I want to escape the moment. I get bored or upset and stop caring. Bored. Upset. Stop caring. Eat. This is the pattern. Following this pattern inevitably leads to despair and humiliation. Humiliation – I heap it upon myself.

What if I didn’t escape? Or what if I escaped in a healthy way?

Strategies:

  1. Do nothing – set a timer for one minute and breathe into the boredom or upset.
  2. Exercise – take a walk. Anything moving.
  3. Shake off the boredom physically.

Will I really do it?

This isn’t the best question. Yes. No. It’s up to me. Hmm. It is my responsibility. Mine, my own, my….precious. Enough Lord of the Rings jokes. But it’s true.

Sitting here thinking this is not much of a template for a weight loss journal. It’s more like random questions I am asking myself out of sheer frustration – with myself. I am frustrated with how little I care. I am frustrated with how little I care. Continuing in my non-caring ways will kill me, as it did my father.

I guess it boils down to how fully I want to live. I am not going to kill myself quickly, but I am killing myself slowly. Slow suicide. Creeping death by food. Me. I am doing this to myself.

How badly do I want to live?

All things considered, I must be on the fence about living. On a scale of 1-10, my will to live must come in at around 5. But it’s not like I am making a conscious decision to commit slow suicide. It must be a thoughtless fulfillment of the fate handed to me by my parents and family. Do I accept this fate, one filled with disease and gruesome death, putting my wife in the unenviable position of having to care for me through it all? It’s coming. It’s coming and nothing will change that short of a wholesale commitment to a healthy lifestyle. My commitment. Not my parents.

I can do whatever I truly decide to do. This has always been the case. I am fortunate that way.

Traveling, sailing, playing tennis and just going through life with energy and enthusiasm. Feeling good in my body. I can have all that.