I’d like to approach the topic of dealing with my step-son from a certain perspective that heaps all the responsibility on me.
Responsibility for what? For my own thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and behavior. For me. Not him. He’s an adult who is responsible for his own life.
These 2 points are the bottom line:
1) My issues with him are the direct result of my own perspective – the way I see him. So, I’d like to look more closely at how I see him. I believe this is a good approach because I have some influence on how I see him. Mostly, I think I am suffering from seeing him through the lens of my own self-sabotaging beliefs.
What if we examined those?
2) If I’m honest about my own beliefs and put them to a sort of reality test – would the distortions drop? Within myself, I exaggerate his issues and make them appear intolerable.
In fact, he’s a difficult kid (think: Aspergers). Everyone who knows him knows this. But – that doesn’t mean his difficult personality has to be my personal doom. I am dooming myself.
Hmm… what do you think?