3 Steps to Overcome Grass is Greener Syndrome and Engage your Real Life

grass is greener syndrome

The grass is always greener on the other side.

This is more than a colloquialism. The common phrase, when lived out daily, can ruin your actual life, leaving you to live a life of quiet desperation.

Here’s a thought: Stop trying to live a smaller or bigger life and embrace the life you have. Then work it from the inside out. Live lifesized by engaging your actual life and letting go of the fantasy that your life should be different.


The problem: Many of us live everyday life competing with a fantasy in our mind about what our lives should be (grass is greener syndrome defined). We dream of a life of ease, with easy people, easy work, easy riches, and easy (fill in the blank).

Grass is greener syndrome demands that we focus on this dangerous fantasy that actually ruins our chances for peace of mind in our actual lives.

The grass is not greener on the other side because there is no other side. The “other side” is an irrelevant fantasy that exists only in your head. You only have the life you have, so live it lifesized and find your peace.

Then, if you want your life to grow bigger, work from the center outward. Living lifesized means connecting to the life you have and letting go of the idea that it should be anything else. Doing this will give you some rare benefits, like happiness, for one. It also turns out that centering on your actual life is the best way to foster growth and expansion.

Let’s see how this works.

1. Get the big picture by identifying major areas of life:

  • Relationships
  • Home life
  • Work
  • Hobbies
  • Self-development

Five areas of life are enough to cover the core of everyday living. When you’ve identified the major areas of your everyday life, you’ve got everything you need to live lifesized and feel connected, secure, grounded, and free from grass-is-greener fantasies and addictions that steal you away from living in peace.

2. Identify the core activities associated with each area

Lifesized Relationships

  • Regular communication
  • Thoughtful acts
  • Participating in activities
  • Expressing love or appreciation
  • Practicing gratitude

Lifesized at Home

  • Daily chores
  • Home improvement projects
  • Gratitude and appreciation

Working Lifesized

  • Focus on core business
  • Avoid irrelevant projects
  • Collaborate on direction
  • Do not go rogue
  • Practice gratitude

Lifesized Hobbies

  • Cartooning
  • Boating
  • RV-ing
  • Tennis
  • Bodybuilding
  • Cycling
  • Paracord
  • Brain games
  • Drone flying
  • Photography

Lifesized Self-Development

  • Reading
  • Journaling
  • Inner Dynamics
  • Therapy/Coaching
  • Finding CCE’s
  • Meditation
  • Experimenting
  • Gratitude

3. Spend 90% or your time on activities inspired by the core areas of your life.

When creating to-do lists, review each area and make sure you are servicing it daily. When fantasy thoughts enter your mind, acknowledge them. Dismiss them with compassion for the part of you that believes in chasing them.

Recognize that chasing fantasies induces a pervasive sense of emptiness and lack. That emptiness demands to be filled, which makes you vulnerable to addiction and unhealthy, self-sabotaging behaviors.

There is more than enough in your lifesized life to keep you centered and grounded and fulfilled every single day. You don’t need to deviate from these areas to find happiness. They represent your best and only chance for it because the fantasy isn’t real and can never deliver peace of mind.