Getting out of your own way is easy but you don’t really want to

Yes, you are getting in your own way. It’s called self-sabotage. Stopping the madness is easy.

  1. Stop doing what hurts you
  2. Start doing what helps you

As simple as these two rules are, you may not feel able to follow them to stop the getting-in-your-own-way pattern. Why? Because you don’t want to. Understandably, you’d rather stick with the devil you know. I am here to tell you that it is time to stop. And I’ll tell you how.

Before we get started, I’d like you to understand something. If you’re getting in your own way all the time, you are not bad. You have positive intentions – every single part of you does. And I know you are carrying burdens that I may not understand. Still, you’re a human being. You’re not broken. There are so many reasons to hope.

You may look at your life, including the periods you don’t remember, and feel resigned to an awful fate. All your life you have been trying to protect yourself. The price of that protection has been high and you may have made quite a mess of your life. Your health, finances, emotions, relationship, and more may have been subject to all kinds of self-sabotaging decisions. You may feel trapped and overwhelmed, unable to imagine a solution or from where the strength will come to pursue it. You may look into the dim future and see no viable options.

Sometimes we feel that in order to change our ways we’d need to become an entirely different person. Our problems can seem bigger than we are. And since the demands of living are ever-present, we must soldier on, doing what comes naturally, which only brings more of the same. An endless cycle of self-sabotage. This is when getting in your own way becomes a path unto itself.

I get it. But I am not stuck in it. Parts of you aren’t stuck in it either. There are long periods during the day when you’re just fine, right? But in certain moments, something comes over you. An attitude. A part of you that, for reasons of its own, doesn’t care. It’s a little troll inside you that lurks in the shadows, ready to hijack your mind at just the right moment. Once its dark duty is done, this inner troll recedes into the subconscious, leaving you holding a bag of shit. Then, regret, shame, humiliation follow. These are followed by resolution to stop self-sabotaging and get out of your own way forever. Rinse and repeat!

Do you really want to get out of your own way?

Yes and no, right? Of course you want to stop self-sabotage! But part of you obviously doesn’t because it keeps coming out to ruin your day. As much as you’d like to rid yourself of this part, you can’t because it is part of you. You can’t destroy your mind. You can only heal it. The good news: It can be done.