A candida cleanse is supposed to cure everything that ails you. From physical maladies like fibromyalgia and weight gain to mental scourges like depression – candida cleanse to the rescue.

Rather than take a side on the issue without experiencing an actual cleanse, I am DOING it. And this poses the first problem. There are a jillion candida cleanses on the market  – yes, one whole jillion – and they all claim to be wonderful. Which one to choose? I solved this issue with a little research and a dose of logic.

Every candida cleanse consists of two fundamentals:

  1. You must stop eating foods that tend to grow candida in your gut.
  2. You should take cleansing herbs to purge the little buggers.

Then you’ll find a ton of add-ons in the various candida programs out there, which may include:

• Lots of extra supplements like “candida-friendly” multi-vitamins, etc…
• Body wraps and creams to all do kinds of good stuff for you.
• Coaching from a certified candida whatever coach.

It’s all good. But I like to focus on the fundamentals and avoid the bells and whistles when it comes to experimenting with stuff. If the core elements of a program don’t get results, the bells and whistles shouldn’t go off, right? I wanted to keep it simple, so I bought the best candida cleanse product on Amazon (most highly reviewed). And I found a list of foods to avoid from a reliable source. The simplicity in my approach saved me hundreds of dollars, by the way, if that’s a concern.

My candida cleanse ~ Plan of attack:

Avoid bad foods according to candida experts and take the herbs as indicated. Wait and see what happens. Many experts claim all excess candida will be removed from your system within a few days. Others suggest it takes much longer. Who knows the truth, so I thought 30 days sounded like a nice, round number. If I’m not noticing a difference in a month, then well, that was that.

I’ve made a mental note NOT to restrict my calories. I’m not going to ruin my metabolism with another diet! In this way, the cleansing of candida will be further isolated as a factor in whatever the hell happens. And no, I’m not claiming to be scientific here. Do you know what all this means, scientifically? Nothing.

Why am I doing this? Several reasons:

• I’d like to lose about 20 pounds.

• I could stand to sleep better.

• My thinking is not as clear and sharp as it used to be.

• Energy lags in the afternoon.

Now, there could be a thousand causes of all this and I’d bet I could get as many diagnoses, depending on the practitioner. But let’s just see how this candida cleanse goes. I’d like it to work. I’m neutral, however, in my expectations. I’m not affiliated with any candida cleanse experts. This is just my own little experiment.

Day 1: May 3, 2018

Morning weight: 251 lbs
Sleep: 6.5 hours with 1 hour of deep sleep
Energy: Low-ish
Mood: Neutral
Overall 1-10 Quality of Day Score: 6

Day 2: May 4, 2018

Morning weight: 251 lbs
Sleep: 7 hours with 1 hour of deep sleep
Energy: Low-ish
Mood: Neutral/Low
Overall 1-10 Quality of Day Score: 6

Woke up this morning with a mild headache. This is supposed to be normal, according to candida cleanse pros, as the body has already dumping toxins. It’s more likely a caffeine withdrawal headache if you ask me.

I feel thinner today, which is silly because I’m not. But it’s a good sign that at some level I am buying into the candida cleanse, right? Positive expectations can’t hurt a thing.

I also realized that I didn’t prepare in the grocery department. This afternoon I suddenly blurted out, “I need some friggin’ food!” But I was too busy (lazy) to go to the store. Self-sabotage in the works? No. I’m doin’ this thing. But I will need some food.

Day 2: May 5, 2018

Morning weight: 254 lbs
Sleep: not tracked
Energy: Low-ish
Mood: Neutral/Low
Overall 1-10 Quality of Day Score: 6

Now that’s discouraging. Gained three pounds since yesterday? I’d like to think I’m packing on muscle at an unprecedented rate, but holy shit this sucks. I am officially discouraged.

But not gonna quit. My wife’s old diet coach used the say over and over, “Stay the course. Stay the course! Let me worry about your progress. You just stick with the program.” And her results were pretty good:) Her program was professionally guided and totally different than this candida cleanse thing, duh. So, if I stay the course, am I just wasting my time?

So this is where I am. This sucks, but I am staying the course. I haven’t gone off this protocol during these three days. I’ve taken the candida cleanse formula faithfully and avoided all (theoretical) candida-promoting foods. I will stay the course. What the hell else is there to do?

Day 3: May 6, 2018

Morning weight: 253 lbs
Sleep: 6.5 hours with 30 minutes deep sleep
Energy: Good
Mood: Good
Overall 1-10 Quality of Day Score: 6

Woke up a full pound lighter this morning, but still two pounds higher than when I started. I don’t care. Just moving forward. Went to Costco and bought a shitload of candida-friendly food. Changing my diet around considerably for this candida cleanse. Out with dairly products and common salad dressings and all kinds of natural sugars I would eat: Fruit, coconut sugar and snacks that might have sucralose in them. Good-bye to my old protein powders, too, which contain sucralose. Lots of people claim sucaralose is candida cleanse friendly, but I’m sticking with stevia only.

Considerably more energy today, even though my sleep was light. Is it working? Is the candida being cleansed from my system? How would I know? I don’t really believe in the classic spit test for candida. I’ll go by my rating scale. How’s my weight, energy level, sleep and overall mood/quality of life. If these improve noticably, I’m happy. So far no conclusions, assuming there will ever be any.






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